I’m expressing myself with the limited words I know

I don’t know how to start
I just nearly start it, and actually doing it
Leaving behind the past, the bad ones
Every single word that came out of my mouth, uncontrolled
Sometimes I just need to shut. Sometimes I need to speak a lot
Lot of words came out just to break the awkwardness
I didn’t mean anything bad

As the hater of almost everything in this round world, I learn how to live
I learn how to interact with society, the society I never known before
The society is reality I must face
I cannot tell which are lies and truths
The society doesn’t accept mistakes and excuses
When they said they understand, the fact perhaps they want a quicker routes to an end
I’m not saying I do understand, but the matter what I face is understandable
As the living thing, sooner or later I must face the another societies
The societies that more and more different from the first one I face now
In the worst case scenario, I failed
I failed to become a living thing
What really matter, I learned how to lead myself and a group of people
I learned how to listen, almost everything
The lack of my social skill is really bothering
I’m at the edge of “no return from here”
I’m just selfish and choose to accept
I’m in reality. When I tried to show off, it didn’t work at all
What I really care is still in question. I need to find what people called “love”
The word is really matter right now
Show off really doesn’t work. I’m at society right now
I still learn how to express myself with the limited word I know
People could laugh at me, I don’t care
People starts to hate me, I do care
I don’t want to be hated. I keep a good image of myself
I selfishly do anything to achieve that
People do lie unconsciously or consciously
It just another possibilities over possibilities
The normal is just one. 100% is one
I tried some experiments. To know a lot more about person
But the fact is they know a lot more about me by just observing what I’ve done
They heard and saw me then make a conclusion
I do really care what they think about me
I am bad person or not is what they think
I need to close the holes within this heart with love
You could say I’m poetic, but I’m not
I’m expressing myself with the limited words I know

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